1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My first STD was from a foam party
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
