So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
