Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
