am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
