Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
