yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
