I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize