I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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