I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
