I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
there is puke in my bra ... again
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
