Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
