Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
