The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
