even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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