And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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