Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So vagazzling was a success
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
