dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
