I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
