How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
