ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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