weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
