i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize