Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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