in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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