Me. At least after what I've been through.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
