You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize