I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
