The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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