I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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