Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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