fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
