I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
