the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
