I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Actions speak louder than pants.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
