Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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