Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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