My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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