i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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