I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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