Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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