Whod you bang
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
