would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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