he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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