Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
