Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
