You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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