Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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