yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
mondays should just be called national damage control day
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize