Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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