it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize