So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
