How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
