My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
