Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish they made helmets for livers.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize