just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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