congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
