i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
