you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
