So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
