just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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