omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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